


Do You Feel It Like I Feel It? ('Cause I Need to Know I'm Not Alone)

by EstherRuth



Series: Habit [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, First Time, Forbidden Love, Half-Sibling Incest, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Romance, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24944359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstherRuth/pseuds/EstherRuth
Summary: Jon still remembered that first night, that first time. Sansa had been wearing an icy blue gown. It made her skin, hair, and eyes even more striking. Looking at her when she came down the stairs, shyly smiling at the rest of them as her mother scrambled for her camera, he thought he might actually fall to his knees.---Jon remembers the night of Sansa's junior prom--and their first night together.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Series: Habit [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794751
Comments: 6
Kudos: 90





	Do You Feel It Like I Feel It? ('Cause I Need to Know I'm Not Alone)

**Author's Note:**

> Sansa and Jon are underage but it's not especially explicit. Title of fic and series from the song "Habit" by Ought.

Jon still remembered that first night, that first time. Sansa had been wearing an icy blue gown. It made her skin, hair, and eyes even more striking. Looking at her when she came down the stairs, shyly smiling at the rest of them as her mother scrambled for her camera, he thought he might actually fall to his knees. He’d already known he was in too deep with his feelings for her that he shouldn’t have in the first place, she was his _sister_ and it was wrong. But that night, when she looked at him and pulled him in for family pictures, like it mattered not at all that her mother wouldn’t want him there—he’d known he was gone for good.

It had been the night of his senior prom too. But he wasn’t going, he didn’t have a date and, in any case, he wasn’t one to socialize all that much. But he was serving as Sansa’s and her date Harry’s chauffeur. His father often had him drive the other kids around, especially Sansa—precious cargo he was entrusted with. It was bittersweet that night to drive her—he hated watching Harry sling a possessive arm around Sansa, but he also knew how much Sansa was looking forward to this night. How long she had spent deciding the perfect dress, shoes, and jewelry. And even if it was in some tiny, insignificant way, Jon was happy to play some role in her special night.

Then he’d gotten the call from Sansa in tears. He was rushing to the car before she could even explain what happened. She’d caught Harry making out with and pawing some blonde outside the girls’ restroom, and instead of apologizing, the very _least_ the prick could have done, he’d told her she was a bore and left with the girl she’d caught him with. He was sure he broke countless laws driving there but he didn’t care. They moved to the backseat in the emptying parking lot of the school so Jon could hold her in his arms and rock her back and forth.

“Don’t cry, Sansa,” Jon said, feeling as wrecked as she did. “Please don’t cry.” He kissed her temple and held her tight against him, trying to shield her from everything that had ever hurt her.

“What’s wrong with me, Jon?”

“Nothing, Sansa. He’s an idiot. He is such a fucking idiot. Any guy who can’t see how incredible you are could never deserve you. They don’t even deserve to look in your direction and breathe the same air as you, Sansa.”

She sniffled. “You’re just saying that because you’re my brother.”

He stiffened. Because he definitely wasn’t saying it because he was her brother. In fact, being Sansa’s brother was not at all what Jon thought about when he held her and soothed her. She noticed his body language shift dramatically.

“Jon?”

He exhaled, trying to release some of his tension. He couldn’t lie. Not to her. “I’m not saying it because I’m your brother. I’m not.”

It was the closest he’d come to a confession. Sansa leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder and when her breath hit his neck, it sent a chill down his spine and he couldn’t keep himself from getting hard. He kept his lap angled away from her and she seemed, thankfully, oblivious.

“You know what’s really stupid? I never really liked him,” Sansa said.

Jon gulped, unable to identify the emotions coursing through him. “You didn’t?”

“No. It’s just that he asked me to go with him. To find him like that? I think he just wanted to go with Ned Stark’s daughter. It was so embarrassing,” she said.

“He’s the embarrassment, Sansa,” Jon told her. All the while, her words repeated in his head. _I never really liked him._

After some period of quiet, of them just sitting in the car in a dim parking lot holding each other—Sansa spoke: “Jon, do you think any guy might ever love me?”

Her voice, small and insecure, broke his heart. “Well, I do,” he said, softly. So softly he wasn’t sure if she’d heard him.

But she had.

“I don’t mean that kind of love, Jon. Not like a brother loves his sister. I mean _love_ love,” she said.

“I know what you meant,” Jon said. He didn’t know why; but he couldn’t hold back anymore. It was too much for him that she thought she’d never have that kind of love. He inhaled sharply and mustered all his courage. “And I _do._ ”

There was no mistaking what he meant. Jon worried Sansa would smack him, push him away and scream. He knew she’d have every right to. Instead, she pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes; scanning them to see if she had understood him right.

Then she leaned in and kissed him.

The sound that escaped his throat, some combination of moan and whimper, had him shuddering against her. He pulled her closer. He couldn’t stop. He ran his hands through her silk locks. She opened her mouth, his tongue reached out tentatively to find hers and when it did, the kiss deepened—eager, impatient, panting. Jon kissed her with everything he had within him, with everything he had kept hidden away. He poured all of it into Sansa’s lips and tongue, drinking her sighs and soft lips until it felt like his lungs would collapse and when they finally pulled apart, she whined “ _Jon_ ,” and that was it.

Jon grabbed her hips and pulled her onto his lap. Sansa was pliant in his arms as she grasped at his shoulders to hold on. He kissed, licked, and nipped at her neck as she began to roll her hips against him, grinding on him. He groaned and his hands cupped her ass, encouraging her rhythm to a steady pace as his hips bucked up in time with her motions. It all happened so fast, but it was as if they’d done this before, how easily they moved together. He knew she had to feel him rock hard against her, but she only kept grinding, gasping, holding the back of his neck to keep his lips on her skin. That thought thrilled him and made him absolutely desperate for her.

“ _Sansa_ ,” he moaned. “I want you,” his voice shook. “I want you so much.”

“Oh _God,_ Jon,” she cried. “I want you too.” She started to pull up the skirt of her dress and he suddenly grabbed her hands, halting her movements. She looked up at him bewildered.

“Not here, Sansa,” he said. He’d thought about this _a lot,_ and he didn’t want to do this in the backseat of a car. “Sansa, let me—let me take you some place nice.”

The look she gave him then, soft, sweet, nearly disbelieving, would have made him fall in love with her if he wasn’t already. She smiled and nodded.

Taking her to the hotel gave them both plenty of time to change their minds. Jon knew he wouldn’t, but he truly didn’t know if Sansa might. He could hardly believe it had happened in the first place; it all could have been a dream. But then he settled himself between her legs, rested his forehead to hers, cradled her cheek in his palm and whispered, “are you sure?”

He felt her nod against him and then she spoke. “I’ve thought of this for so long, Jon,” she confessed.

That floored him. He’d had no idea. “Oh God, Sansa, I have too. I love you.”

“I love you, Jon,” she said. And then he slowly slid inside her.

Sansa was breathless beneath him. “Are you okay?” he asked, his lips against hers.

She nodded. “Yes, Jon.”

“Does it hurt?” He hated the idea of hurting her.

“A little,” she said and held him close. “But it feels good too. Don’t stop,” she whispered.

He groaned, kissed her deeply and began to slowly thrust back and forth into her. It was incredible, and her little moans and breaths nearly caused him to finish immediately but he tried to hold himself back, not wanting it to be over.

Her legs wrapped tighter around his waist and he lost himself in her completely.

Yes, that night—he was gone for good.


End file.
